Dating in recovery
“'Two sickies don’t make a welly,’ my 80-year-old sponsor used to say.” According to James, a 33-year-old photographer from Los Angeles who’s been sober for eight years, when he first came to AA he listened to what his sponsor told him and religiously avoided dating women in the program.He didn’t date anyone at all for the first six months—he was in a Salvation Army men’s rehab anyway, so it wasn't like he had much of a choice.Highly rated by their teen clients and their families, Paradigm Malibu offers programs for a really wide range of adolescent disorders including: depression, anxiety, personality disorders, substance abuse, behavioral addictions, and eating disorders.This Arizona rehab prescribes high doses of AA meetings and backpacking for young guys who not only need to get sober, but also learn the basics (think cooking and cleaning) of living in the real world.After several relapses spurred on by those relationships, she entered therapy, chose a new, strict sponsor whose advice she actually listened to.
I think it’s no coincidence I met my wife while I was volunteering, had no time for myself, and dating was the last thing on my mind.” Patti, a 27-year-old from New York with four years of sobriety in NA, says that after getting sober, she found it hard not to be drawn to the same kind of train wreck relationships of her using years.When people with addiction issues try to jump into a relationship too soon, there is a very good chance that they are attempting to fill the hole they feel inside by replacing their drug of choice with something else that will give them that high they are craving.It is strongly advised by counselors, sponsors and anybody with experience in recovery that they remain focused on themselves until their sobriety is strong.Rosalyn Dischiavo, a sexologist and licensed addiction counselor, has a cheerier outlook: “There is another, more optimistic truth about love in early sobriety: it shows that you are healing. Date like it's 1955, whether it's with someone new, or with your current partner or spouse. Belisa Vranich—a clinical psychologist specializing in sex and relationships—all agree that there is no reason why addicts and alcoholics shouldn’t be dating other addicts and alcoholics.Go to the movies, take a walk in the park, go skiing together, but slow down and give the intimacy a chance to develop. According to Milrod, the most important foundation is simply that “sobriety needs to be a priority.